There’s a popular grammatical trend today that must be getting under the skin of INFP’s like me–starting sentences with the conjunction “so”. I really don’t mind, except when it’s used in answer to a question. Any question. It just gets on my nerves when anyone begins an answer with “so.” When I hear someone start an answer to a question with “so”, I don’t hear the words that follow. I can’t even remember the question because I get so caught up wondering why the answer had to begin with “so”.
Ironically, the habit is popular among educated people, but it sounds adolescent. I heard it the other day at a meeting. “Are you in agreement with this plan?” a young woman was asked. “So…” she began in an apparent answer. My brain started firing lots of questions. So what, lady? Are you or are you not in agreement with the plan? Just say it. Is it yes, no, maybe, absolutely, no way, possibly. Just answer the #*%@%! question!
INFP’s are not hung up about grammatical rules being broken. We couldn’t care less about most rules. But starting an answer with “so” is a communication calamity. It projects hubris. It smacks of attitude. It states clearly: I heard your question, now I think I’ll recite some poetry or do something else entirely because you’re invisible to me and I don’t care what your question was.
Here’s a couple of so-in-so’s talking to illustrate my point.
Question: So, want to get something to eat? Answer: So, I might.
Question: So, how about Ruby’s? Answer: So, they have a special on ribs tonight.
Question: So, do you want to do Ruby’s? Answer: So, we could.
Question: So, is that a yes or a no?
Confusion now hath made his masterpiece. William Shakespeare
I welcome you to read INFP: A Flower in the Shade, Hope for the Healer which has been launched on Kindle and is available for free May 13 through May 17. This work is intended to help the Myers-Briggs INFP personality types by providing practical guidance for them in their careers, romances, and relationships. The exceptional aspects of the INFP personality are celebrated in my book, for the INFP is a master of metaphor, a romantic hero, and a compassionate healer whose ambition for improving the human condition is unparalleled.
I think the INFP’s are like flowers in the shade. They are beautiful creatures, yet they feel unnoticed due to their rare constitution and their reserved nature. They are often sad and lonely. However, the enthusiasm for the ideals they value and their highly prinicpled nature make them worthy of greatness. My book discusses ways for the INFP to address some of the emotional problems unique to his type such as how to deal with feelings of self-doubt and isolation.
The INFP’s are here to mend the wounds of separations and to change the world. INFP: A Flower in the Shade is dedicated to INFP’s and my hope is that it helps them to know the power of their healing energy.
I’m almost finished with my next book. I’m not sure which title to use: INFP: The Romantic Hero or INFP: The Romantic Healer.
Here’s what it’s about:
The Romantic Hero is a celebration of the INFP’s richness and intensity. It is about the consequences of his preferences and how he can avoid the emotional turmoil that accompanies living in the shade. It is an exploration of his individualism, his quest for truth and authenticity, his compassion, and his keen conceptual awareness as well as his struggles and his many contradictions. It is a discussion of the reasons for his loneliness and the ways to appreciate his “gifts differing”. Its purpose is to help INFP’s who may be feeling lost and alone to feel liberated and extraordinary. It is written to assist him on his own life journey and especially, to view his attributes as the gifts Myers and Briggs intended the profiles to provide.